


The prince and the pauper

by LastMafagafo



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, F/M, I'm Sorry, New Year's Eve, Not Beta Read, Switching
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:27:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28298256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LastMafagafo/pseuds/LastMafagafo
Summary: It's Christmas, and Donna's family went to a posh vacation to Gallifrey, including her mom, her gramps and her annoying uncle, James. Not that far from there, Prince John is back to celebrate Christmas with his brother, the King. That would be fine if John and James didn't look so much alike.
Relationships: Metacrisis Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor/Donna Noble
Comments: 8
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was bored for the holidays, and a bit sad because this year's celebrations will be a bit atypical, so I watched a bunch of Christmas movies and decided to write this fanfic. Doctor Who doesn't belong to me, but I guess you already know that.  
> Just to make it clear, Tentoo is called James here. I know, not original, but Handy seemed a bit mean. And yep, he is Wilf's son.

**James**

The blue Pegeout parked in front of the hotel, an old mansion, with walls of stone bricks and white-framed windows. It was cold outside, but at least there was a bit of sunlight to welcome them. They weren’t far from the city, just a few miles away, but the view from there, of green, hills and a wonderful blue sky, made everything seen quite idyllic. 

“So, what do you think?” asked Donna, smiling proudly of her achievement. She covered her eyes with her hand, creating a shadow to protect her eyes from the afternoon sun, while she admired the view from there. 

“For once I must admit that you’ve done something good for this family,” said Sylvia, getting out of the car. 

“Oh, thanks, mom. I mean, I’ve helped with the bills and the rent since I was eighteen, but obviously this holliday is the first thing that really counts,” said Donna, rolling her eyes. Even when Sylvia was paying a compliment, she had to add some snarky remark. Typical! 

“Let’s not argue, girls! It’s Christmas!” said Wilf, hugging both Donna and Sylvia. He was sporting his reindeer antlers over the red beanie that always drove Sylvia mad. It was practically a family tradition.

“I love the family picture, but can someone help me with the luggage?” complained James, who was taking the dozens of bags and even a hatbox of the car’s trunk.

“Of course, kid! I’m on my way,” said Wilf, running to help the poor boy.

“It’s really beautiful, isn’t it?” asked Sylvia, hugging Donna with an arm while contemplating the house. “Your dad would’ve loved to be here.”

“Yeah… I think he would,” smiled Donna, feeling that pain back in her heart. That was the hell of a year, for sure.

Entering the hotel it was playing an old Christmas song. The main hall was all decorated with lights, garlands and an enormous Christmas tree adorned with colorful balls. There was a smiley attendant on the other side of the counter, who was ready to help the Noble-Mott family, and take them to their room. Donna had won a raffle, and the prize was a whole week in that place, in a comfy room with a double bed, a single one, and a couch. 

“So, how is it gonna be?” asked James, throwing the bags on the floor as soon as they stepped inside the room.

“What do you mean how it’s gonna be? I share a bed with Donna, Gramps gets the single one, and you sleep on the couch,” said Sylvia, not paying much attention on the matter.

“Oi! Why me?” complained James.

“You can’t expect me or dad to sleep on the couch, can you?”

“Of course not, sis! But why not Donna?”

“Oi! Why would I? Don’t forget I’m the reason for us to be here,” said the red-head, pointing to herself.

“I can sleep on the couch, if that’s gonna make you all stop arguing,” suggested Wilf, to everybody’s horror.

“No, Gramps! Of course we wouldn’t let you sleep there,” said Donna.

“Don’t worry, dad. I go to the couch. I just wonder why this family can’t pay for a second room…” mumbled James, sitting on that couch.

“If you wanna another room, be my guest! But you will be the one paying, alright?” asked Donna, shrugging.

“Penny-pincher…” murmured James, twisting his nose.

Donna dropped her things in a corner, and combed her hair, doing a ponytail. She was excited to do something different for a change, and not even her uncle’s nagging would make her lose her joy. James, on the other hand, resigned to his faith of sleeping on the couch for a whole week. He had to say, it wasn’t the most comfy sofa he had ever sat on. Actually, he doubted that thing was made for anyone to sleep in it. Still, he didn't want his dad sleeping there. Wilf had the disposition of a teenager, but his body was of an old man, and he had no courage to exchange places with him. But James didn’t have much time to consider his situation, since Donna came back to the room, grabbing his arm.

“Come on, Spaceboy. Let’s explore the place,” she said.

“That soon? Won’t you take a rest before going? You came driving all the way,” reminded Sylvia, who was already turning the TV on.

“You and Gramps can rest, but I’m not losing a minute in this place. Come on, Jamie. Chop chop!”

“Whatever you say, little general,” he said, raising up and saluting her.

“Shut up!” Donna scorned him, blushing. That was her childhood nickname at home, and that was Wilf who gave her, for being such a bossy child. James was the only one who kept calling her that way, especially when he wanted to mock her.

“Be careful, you two!” recommended Wilf, also taking the opportunity to rest a bit. He wasn’t as young as he used to be.

“And don’t come back late!” advised Sylvia.

Donna and James exchanged conspiratory glances, and left. 

“So, where to go?”

“We could go to a club,” said Donna.

“Oh! Maybe we should visit some shops,” suggested James.

Both looked at each other, barely containing their laughs. Who were they trying to fool? James hated going shopping with Donna, and she absolutely hated his party-boy mode. The only place they could go together, and actually enjoy the other’s company, was...

“Pub?” asked James.

“Yeah, I saw a nice place when we were driving through the town.”

“I’ll call an Uber,” he suggested, already taking his phone. 

“Good idea. Let’s get wasted tonight!”

  
  


**John**

A footman opened the door of John’s car, greeting him politely. John smiled, trying to be nice, although he was quite angry. Driving all the way there, he couldn’t think of anything else than confront his brother. He gave the guy his car’s keys, and entered the old palace. There was a hall, with red carpet and statues everywhere, all decorated for Christmas. It had been quite a while since he visited that place for the last time, but he remembered his way there quite well. Entering the living room, he was announced by a servant, who left as discreetly as possible, almost as he had never been there. 

Irving was already there, having some tea, and watching the outside through the windows. He was the portrait of tranquility. John would be glad to join him if he wasn’t so angry. Irving didn’t seem surprised to see his younger brother there, he only put his tea cup aside and looked up at John. 

“Hello, brother! How was your trip?”

“My trip? MY TRIP? You gotta be kidding me, Brax!” yelled John, coming closer to his brother. “You owe me an explanation!”

“Do I?” asked the man, as he had no idea about what John was talking about.

“Don’t… Don’t even pretend you don’t know!” said John, fuming, grabbing his brother’s collar. “The Tylers! I’m talking about the Tylers!”

“Oh, right. Pete, Jackie, Rose and little Tony Tyler. What about them?” asked Irving calmly. He was already used to his brother's short temper.

“You invited them for Christmas dinner, didn’t you? I should know, from the coronation anniversary ball, that you were up to something.”

King Irving freed himself from his brother’s grip, and sat back comfortably on his chair, inviting John to sit in front of him. John already knew that was his “let’s talk like civilized people” moment. He always liked that when they had a discussion, and sometimes John wished to smack his brother out of the older-responsible-child behavior. 

“I’m not “up” to anything, John. I’m just inviting some friends to our Christmas party. You know how the royal family is small nowadays. I just missed the old times, with mom, dad and all the kids.”

“Oh, please! You just brought them here because of Rose Tyler. I know you, Brax! You are trying to marry me off with her.”

“Clever as always, brother,” smiled Irving.

“Why? I told you that I’m not getting married! I like my life just as it is. I travel around the world, represent you in all kinds of diplomatic trips abroad, and you let me live my life the way I like it. Why change what is already perfect?”

“John, you are almost forty! A man can’t keep living a life like yours forever. It’s time to settle down and marry, have kids...”

“First: I’m only thirty six! Second: That 's not me! I don’t like… domesticality…” he shivered. 

“John, I would be okay with it, if it weren’t for the scandals and the paparazzi. One moment you are dating an italian model, next you participated in an orgy in Spain, then you are gay. Do you know how tiresome is to clear up all that mess?”

“They are all lies! Honestly, I wish I had the time for all of that! That thing with the italian model was because of a soccer game that we were presented. We talked and had some laughs, but I’ve never seen her after that. The orgy in Spain was impossible, because you know I was in Togo, volunteering. And about me being gay… Well, I can’t see why that would be a problem… Anyway, I don’t care about the media.”

“I know, but the media care about you, and that says a lot when you are the Prince of Gallifrey.”

“Yeah, I know. But do you really think that a marriage would solve that all?” John asked, sitting besides his brother. “Arranged marriages never end up well, you know that.”

“It’s not supposed to be arranged. All I’m saying is that you should at least try and give the girl a chance. You said she was pretty at the anniversary.”

“She is! It doesn’t mean that I want to marry her! And wouldn’t that make me a pedofile? How old is she?”

“She just turned twenty one. Perfectly fine by law.” 

“Still, she is too young! I would look like her father or something.”

“Don’t be that exaggerated! It would be just like Prince Charles of Wales and Diana Spencer.”

“Right… Because that story ended up pretty well,” mocked John.

“Alright, John! I’ll not force you to anything! But Rose Tyler and her family are still coming for the holidays, as well as all the other royals that I invited here,” said Irving, tired of his brother's stubbornness. He raised up and walked away, leaving John alone to pout by himself.

John wasn’t happy. He didn’t want to get married and that scheme his brother planned was ridiculous. He's never needed anyone. Never! And being thirty or forty would never change the way he thought about that. He liked to travel and live adventures, he loved being free to do as he pleased. Having a wife would only get in the way. Then the kids would come and he would have to settle for a boring life as a family man. Even the thought of it disturbed him.

“Hello, Johnny!” he heard a familiar voice, coming from the corridor. 

Oh, no! His brother didn’t invite that guy as well! What was he thinking about? But the confirmation came fast as John saw the dark-haired man, with ocean blue eyes coming to him, the same sappy disposition as always.

“Captain Jack Harkness! I should know you would also come to the party.”

“And miss all the fun and the intrigue? Never!”

“And also take some royals to bed?”

“If I’m lucky...” he winked. 

“You are early. The party is only tomorrow,” explained John, feeling the beginning of a migraine.

“Only the official one! But we could start having fun from today. Where is Brax?”

“Upstairs, scheming my downfall,” mumbled John.

“What?” asked Jack, sitting by his friend’s side.

“He is trying to marry me off with this girl…” he rolled his eyes.

“Oh… My condolences… Is she pretty at least?”

“She is Rose Tyler,” said John, looking up at his friend.

“Oh!” Jack smiled brightly. “Now that’s a reason to celebrate! She is smart, fun and gorgeous! Why are you so bummed about that?”

“And she would probably want domesticality. Husband, wife and son, just like an american sitcom….” he rolled his eyes.

“You don’t know about that. Actually, you don’t even know if the girls would like to marry you.”

“I’m the prince, Jack! Who wouldn’t?”

“Humble of you to say,” Jack smirked. “You could also refuse.”

“Really? Do you really think Brax would let me go without a fight? He would probably find another girl. And then another... He is settled in that idea of marrying me, and if I know King Irving well, that’s exactly what he will do in the end.” 

Jack placed his arm over John’s shoulder. 

“Sorry about that,” he said, and John smiled at him, not very excited. Jack hated seeing his friend like that. “Come on, don’t kill your brain cells over it. Let’s go out and drink! We could get wasted and forget all our problems over booze. What do you say?”

“Seems nice. And next morning we can wake up with the headlines “Drunk prince is found in a local bar. Gallifrey is scandalized!” 

“That’s the spirit!” said Jack, making John rise up. “Come on! You can go undercover. We can find a jacket or something to hide you in.”

John didn’t want to go, but he felt he could explode if he stayed in the palace next to his brother. Going out with Jack didn’t seem so bad in comparison to have another argument with Brax. Also, he thought that if they went somewhere calm, like a pub, it would be less likely to embarrass himself, or to be eventually discovered by the press. Maybe going out with reckless Jack would do him good. He could complain more about his brother and blow off some steam drowning himself in the booze. 

“Fine, you convinced me! Allons-y!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That's Christmas! But something isn't quite right with John and James.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the Christmas chapter will come in two parts, because I couldn't finish it today. Ops...

**John**

John woke up feeling terrible. His body was stiff and achy, and the lights were too bright to him. He opened his eyes, blinking to get used to the light, and suddenly saw the form of a ginger woman standing in front of him while brushing her hair in front of the mirror. He raised up alarmed, looking around. He was in a weird place with floral wallpaper, two beds, and some other old-fashioned wooden furniture. There was a blonde woman in the bed, some years older than the ginger, watching the tele, and an old man, looking for something on a travel bag.

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty,” said the ginger, looking at him. 

“Who are you?” he asked, confused. He had never seen that woman in his life, and yet she talked to him as they were old acquaintances. Could she be a kidnapper or something? 

“Queen Elizabeth…” she rolled her eyes, as it was the most stupid question she had ever heard. “Who do you think I am, dumbo?”

“No, honestly, who are you? Where am I?”

“How much have you drank last night?” asked the blonde. “Donna… I told you two to take care!”

“What? No! Maybe we’ve drunk a little, but not like that…” she said, poking him. John looked up, thinking that woman might've been crazy. He was a prince! How dared she poke him like that?

“Can you stop doing that?” he asked, politely.

“Donna!” called the blond, with the scariest look he had ever seen on a woman or a man.

“You snitch!” she showed him her tongue, surprising John. That was absolutely not the right way to treat a prince. 

“Stop nagging James, you two!” said the old man, wearing two reindeer antlers over a red hoodie. “It’s Christmas morning you all!”

“Merry Christmas, dad!” said the blond, smiling.

“Merry Christmas!” said the ginger, tinkling the old man, who laughed and gently pushed her away.

But John wasn’t in the mood to wish merry Christmas to those strangers. Actually, he was too busy freaking out. Did that man call him James? What? WHAT? John looked around confused, and raised up to look himself in the mirror. To his relief, he looked the same. Nice brown hair, brown eyes, skinny and foxy. That was a relief! So why was he with those people who were calling him by another name? Actually, more importantly than that, who were those people?

“Are you trying to fix your face? I’m sorry but it’s too late for you,” said the ginger, giggling.

“What?”

“It’s a joke, you prawn! Blimey! What’s going on with you this morning?”

“I… I don’t know… Is this a dream?” he asked, desperately.

“Are you still drunk? Come on, Space Boy! Mom is gonna kill us both if she discovers you got totally wasted last night,” she whispered, trying not to catch much attention from the other two. 

“Mom?”

“Oh my goodness, you need a coffee! And a shower! You are still stinking from last night,” said her, shoving his inside the bathroom and closing the door. 

John was really confused. He looked around the bathroom, it was small and simple. No whirlpool, just a shower, a toilet and a sink. He didn’t know what to do, but sniffing himself he realised that the woman was right. He was stinking of alcohol. Oh, God! What has he done? 

He stepped into the shower, trying to remember the previous night. His memories were a bit blurry, but he remembered going out with Jack, and entering a local pub. Then they started to drink as he spilled his heart out to his friend. He remembered feeling dizzy and airy, like he was stepping in clouds. He went to the bathroom, to wash his face, and… a ginger woman came to him, and helped him to stand up! That was it! He was drunk and this woman came to help him! Still… Why were they calling him James? 

John finished his shower, and put on the clothes the woman shoved in his hand. He was feeling ridiculous with that superhero T-shirt, like a fifteen years old teenager, but the other option would be the smelly shirt and black hoodie he had been wearing since the previous night. Styling his hair with some gel he found on the sink, he got out of the bathroom, to find the whole family waiting for him.

“Finally! You are not the only one who has to use the bathroom,” said the blonde, entering and closing the door behind him. 

“Don’t listen to her, James! You know how Sylvia is in the morning” said the old man, patting him in the shoulder. Although he was still confused with the warmth of those people, the simple gesture warmed his heart.

“You are really kind, sir,” he said, smiling. “But why did you call me James?”

“Because that’s your name! Are you still drunk?” the old man came closer to John, sniffing him around. 

“No! Sir, I’m afraid this is all a terrible mistake. You see I’m a…”

“There you are!” said the ginger, grabbing his arm. “Come on! I don’t want to lose more time in this room. Let’s have some breakfast!” 

“Go you two, I’m waiting for your mom,” said Wilf, laughing at the desperate expression John had on his face.

“O-kay. But tell her not to take too long,” said Donna, pulling John out of the room. 

He was still confused and a little bit frustrated, since the woman not only interrupted his explanation, but also kept disrespecting him. Still, he decided to play along for a while. She had said something about breakfast, and he was quite hungry after all.

**James**

James woke up when someone opened the curtains. He didn’t want to wake, so he covered his head with a pillow and tried to go back to sleep, not bothering with the footsteps walking around the room.

“Time to wake up, prince charming!” said a masculine voice.

James murmured something, not paying much attention to the voice. He just wanted to be left alone for at least five more minutes. But suddenly the pillow was taken from him, and he felt cold. He turned around, ready to complain with Donna, when he saw a man's face watching him. James almost jumped to the ceiling, startled. Reaching for the blankets, he covered himself protectively, finally realizing he was in a room he had never seen before. 

“Who are you?” he asked.

“What?” asked the man, confused.

“Where am I?

James looked around. That place was posh. The poshest room he has ever been. The ceiling was covered with delicate flower drawings, there were heavy curtains on the windows, upholstered chairs, Persian carpets and he was lying in a huge bed. James was astonished.

“What the heck is this place?”

“I know, the decoration is hideous,” the man shrugged, sitting on the bed. “Now, stop being dramatic, and let’s have some breakfast. I’m starving!”

“Wait… Have we slept together?” asked James, looking to the man. He was handsome, his dark hair with blue eyes were something, and from earlier he seemed to have a nice butt. 

“Me and you?” he started to laugh. “I wish!”

“Really?” asked James, smirking. “Why not?”

The man laughed, but he suddenly stopped when he realized James wasn’t kidding.

“Are you serious?”

“Well, you are cute and I’m here, so why not?”

“Who are you and what have you done with John?” asked the man, joking.

“I’m James, and I have no idea who John is, but if he is your boyfriend, I totally respect that,” said James, seriously.

The man raised up, startled. He walked forward and analised James, as he was an alien or something.

“You are really not John, are you?”

“No! Of course not! Who is this John?” 

“He is the Prince,” the man grabbed his phone and showed James a photo. 

There was a man who looked exactly like James, but he was wearing a military outfit that James himself had never seen before. Could it be a doppelganger?

“He looks just like me!” 

“Exactly! So, if you aren’t him, who exactly are you? And where the heck is John?”

**John**

John was having breakfast with the ginger and her family, still playing along with them, when his phone rang. With the whole confusion that morning, he didn’t noticed he still had his phone in his pockets. That was a blessing after all. Better than that was Jack being one calling him. He was probably freaking out with his absence.

“Excuse me, I have to pick this up,” he said, raising from the table. He didn’t wait to see if they would allow him or not, he just found a quieter place to hide and talk safely. It was a video call.

“Oh my God, John! Is it really you?” asked Jack, desperate.

“Of course it’s me! You called me!”

“Where are you? Are you okay?”

“I am. I’m on a hotel. I woke up this morning in a small room with the weirdest family I’ve ever met.”

“Oh, that might be my family!” said a man, coming from behind Jack. To John’s surprise, he looked exactly like him, and if he didn’t know better, he would say he was looking in the mirror.

“Who are you?” asked John, to the man.

“Oh… Hi! I’m James,” he waved, smiling awkwardly. 

“Oh! I see…” 

Everything became clear to John. Those people he met, they weren’t crazy, they were just mistaken for that man who looked exactly like him. And if he was there, with James’ family, and James was with Jack, it meant they switched places at that pub.

“Isn’t that wizard?” asked James.

“Indeed…” John combed his hair with his hand, nervous.

“So, how is it going to be? Do you prefer if we go to you, or are you coming here?” asked Jack, holding a good laugh.

John thought for a while. First he considered his options. What was the safest way of switching back without drawing much attention? But suddenly another idea came to him. A crazy idea, something that could solve his problems and spare him from an awful Christmas. Something that would make Mark Twain proud! 

“James, what do you think about being a prince?”

“Well, it looks nice. I mean, your room is really posh…”

John smiled.

“Tell me, have you ever attended to a… posh party?”

“Oh, no!” he laughed. “But I like to go clubbing on weekends,” James winked to Jack, who chuckled.

But when Jack looked back at his phone and saw John's face, he final could guess what the prince's plan was. Jack wasn't the goody-two-shoes kind of guy. Actually, he licked a little bit of fuzz to make life spicy, but John's plan seemed too stupid to be ignored.

“No! No! No! You are not thinking about doing that!” yelled Jack, taking the phone to himself.

“Why not, Jack? It's perfect! And the guy could even have some fun!”

“You are throwing him to the sharks!” argued Jack.

“Wait, what are you two talking about me?” James came forward. He wasn’t stupid, and he knew those two were planning something for him that he wouldn’t like.

“I have an offer to you, James, you lucky lucky man! Since this whole switching thing happened last night, what do you think about staying this way for a while?”

“Nope, thank you” said James, without even thinking about that. That prince life was nice and all, but in movies posh people were always cold and mean, and that whole Parent Trap thing never ended up well to the poor guy. He surely didn’t want to meddle with all that. Actually, he was fairly certain switching places with a prince could get him to prison. He wasn’t that stupid.

“Why not? That will be fun! And no one will know. You could enjoy all the money, and the food. Have I told you about my unlimited credit card?”

“Just tell me something: if your life is so great, why switch places with me?” asked James. “You’re not fooling me, mate.”

“He got you this time,” said Jack, laughing.

“Alright, James, I'll be honest. The truth is that my brother wants to present me to a girl tonight. I’m supposed to marry her, but I don’t want to, and I can’t refuse her either. But she can refuse me. That’s why I thought that if you act in my place she could be frustrated and leave, and that wouldn’t be my fault.”

“Let me get this straight… You think you are better than me…”

“Yes!" said John, and James raised an eyebrow, not believing the nerve of that prince to say that right on his face. "What? No! I meant no! I’ve never said that. I just think she would be expecting someone different.”

“Someone who isn’t as great as you?” James folded his arms. If John was still trying to convince James, he was failing.

“Look, James, I’m a prince. I know how to fence, ride a horse, play polo…”

“Yeah, he thinks he is better than me,” James said to Jack, ignoring the prince.

“John, you are doing a terrible job,” laughed Jack.

“James, please! I just want to live my life the way I like it without my brother making the decisions to me. I will give you anything, but please, help me.”

James thought for a while. He was a bit afraid to pretend to be a prince, but he knew exactly how it was to be pushed by your family to do what you didn’t want to. Although Wilf had always supported his decisions, Sylvia couldn’t stop nagging him about getting a proper job and a wife. Not only him, but Donna as well. That’s why he felt so bad about the prince. Unlike him, John seemed to have no one to understand him.

“How much did you say I could spend from your credit card?” asked James.

John smiled.

“As much as you want… Does that mean that you…”

“Yep. As long as we switch back before my family goes back to England, I’m fine.”

“Brilliant! You won’t regret it. Actually it’s just for today. I'm sure tomorrow they will be back to their home.”

“It’s touching your faith in my charms…” mumbled James, a bit offended.

“I can’t believe it! Are you two really doing that?” asked Jack, baffled. Both James and John only shrugged.

“Jack, you help him. Pass him my phone number so he can call me in case of problem. But don’t you dare to spread this information. The media can’t know.”

“Don’t worry. I don’t want to be caught either. I don’t wanna go to prison.”

John rolled his eyes. Of course he wouldn't let James go to prison, even if they got caught.

“What about my family?”

“Don’t worry, they won’t know. I’ll pretend I am you. I just need to know their names and your relationship with them.”

“Donna is the ginger and my niece…”

“Niece? Really?”

For John Donna looked too old to be James' niece. They looked the same age! Actually, his first thought was a wife, but they could also be siblings.

“Yeah. Sylvia is the blond. She is Donna’s mother and my sister. And the man is Wilf, my dad. Understood?”

"Of course. Let’s keep in touch.”

“Wait! Are you sure you can pretend to be me for my family?”

“Sure. How difficult could it be?” said John, listening to James scoff after turning off the phone. Time to go back to the breakfast table and finish his meal. He was about to get a royal vacation. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With James pretending to be a prince at the palace and John trying to be James while spending some time with Donna and Wilf, Christmas will get a lot more exciting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I intended to post it at Christmas, but I failed.   
> I was a bit crazy (maybe even drunk) when I decided to write and post a chapter everyday. I was trying to challenge myself and my english writing skills and thought that would be a good idea. Now I'm doing that without a double check or a beta reader. So yep, I'm certain that you guys will find a lot of mistakes. I promise to correct my work in the future. But right now I'm too competitive with myself to stop. Sorry about that...

**John**

“Why didn't I stay at the hotel with mom?” complained Donna, folding her arms, annoyed by the group of carol singers gathered around the main street, closed for the festivities.

After breakfast, the Noble-Mott family decided to head to town and do some sightseeing. John was having the time of his life! He had never experienced Christmas at the Citadel before, and now he knew exactly what he had been missing. The lights, the decorations, people singing carols on the street, all the last minute rush to buy nice presents… Why had he never experienced that before? Well, probably because he had always been stuck in the castle or travelling far away from his brother and all that royal nonsense. But being a commoner had been his greatest opportunity to experience his country by himself without security and all that nonsense. The only complaint he had was wearing that hideous reindeer jumper. He would much prefer his suits than all that nonsense. 

But Donna seemed quite annoyed by the Christmas joy. She kept rolling her eyes and snorting. Even Wilf was having much more fun than his granddaughter. John had to admit that he had never met someone more excited for the festivities than Wilf. He kept wishing random people on the street “merry christmas”, joined the carolers to sing, and even hold the door for a bunch of desperate buyers holding thousands of bags.

“What is wrong, little Grinch?” asked WIlf, hugging a grumpy Donna.

“Everything! Really, mom was right to stay relaxing at the hotel. You know how I hate Christmas, Gramps.”

“Really, you hate Christmas?” asked John, surprised. He thought that being in the same family as a guy like WIlf that would be impossible for anyone to hate Christmas.

“And so do you. Why aren’t you as annoyed as I am?”

“Oh...” John blushed, remembering he was pretending to be James. “Well, this is a different country, and we’ve never been here for Christmas. I thought it could be different.”

“He is right, dear. They might have fun things to do around here. You must open up.” said Wilf.

“What about a drink? I heard they have a Ginger Cow that is really festive.”

“You said what?” said Donna, startled. 

“What? Nothing! It's a drink! I’m not talking about you,” he babbled, noticing that Donna was getting pretty angry and red. “I mean, I know you are ginger, but this is not ginger like you, it’s ginger like the spice. And cow means milk, not cow like an offence. It’s a drink with milk, ginger and cinnamon… Oh, it’s better if I shut up now. Let’s just… let me show you.” 

John had said too much. He wasn’t planning to open his mouth and talk like an idiot, but he truly feared for his life when Donna looked at him that way. That moment it became clear the resemblance between her and Sylvia. There was no doubt about their being mother and daughter. Both were scary ladies.

“Does it have alcohol?” asked Donna, suspicious.

“Oh, you can bet it does!” smiled John, entering a coffee shop.

Donna and Wilf exchanged glances and smiled, entering the place right behind John. He was already at the counter, ordering three drinks. Donna was surprised with his excitement. She had no idea what had happened that year, but John, the guy who always ended up pouting with her near the Christmas tree, suddenly was as sappy as Gramps was. But maybe that was because of their trip. They chose a table near the window, and waited for their drinks.

“How did you know about that Ginger Cow?” asked Donna, after checking the menu to be sure that was a real thing or just something James came up with to mock her.

“Internet,” he said, shrugging. He looked at Wilf with puppy eyes.

“What’s wrong, boy?”

“Why do you wear two antlers?” he asked.

“To share with someone I might find on my way. Do you want one?” asked Wilf, laughing when John nodded. He took a pair of antlers from his head and put on John’s head, who smiled, satisfied.

“You two are ridiculous! Did you know that?” asked Donna, rolling her eyes.

“Don’t bother her. She is envious,” said Wilf, laughing.

“I’m not!” Donna laughed.

The waiter came near, bringing them their drinks. She gasped, surprised with John, and suddenly she became quite shy. John knew something was wrong, he guessed she recognized him, and he hated himself for that. There it went with his fun time with the british peasants.

“Excuse me, sir… highness… Aren’t you the Prince?” She asked, blushing.

He gulped, not knowing what to say. He looked at Wilf and Donna, wondering what they could be possible thinking that moment. 

“Him? The prince?” asked Donna, looking right at John’s eyes. He gulped a second time, preparing himself to apologise.

But instead of smacking him, she cracked in a laugh and couldn’t stop.

“Oh, please! I can’t…” she couldn’t stop. “If he is a prince I’m a reindeer,” she said, holding her stomach. “I’m sorry, girl, but you are completely mistaken. This guy doesn’t even have a job. He plays in a band. A bloody band! And they aren’t even that good!” she said, finally remembering that she could be hurting him. “Not that I don’t like you and the guys. That song about the sparrow girl was really nice.”

The girl blushed, getting pretty uncomfortable. She said she was sorry before leaving. John was speechless. How did Donna manage to get rid of that girl like that? He thought his disguise was uncovered but somehow she managed to protect him and make him look terrible and quite unappealing. It looked like he found the right family to meddle with.

“Stop telling people James’ band is terrible,” Wilf called out.

“I didn’t want to, but this girl said you looked like the prince. I had to convince her, or she would nag us endlessly to take a picture. I know the deal, people always mistaken me with Juliane Moore.”

John laughed, almost choking on his drink, but in a glance he saw Donna’s frown and got quiet again.

“Something funny?”

“Oh, no… I just thought… Nevermind,” he said, clearing his throat.

Donna didn’t like all that laughing. Why couldn’t she be mistaken with Juliano Moore? She was also ginger and pretty, at least that was what people kept telling her. But who was James to know, anyway? She forgot she was talking with her stupid uncle. Ignoring him, Donna finally had a sip on her drink, and it tasted surprisingly delicious!

"That's great!” said Wilf, as surprised as Donna.

“I told you! 

The waiter came back, with a cocky smirk. She was holding her phone.

“Sorry to bother again, but I’m pretty sure he is the prince,” she showed Donna her phone, and John seeked a peek at an old photo of him at Brax's wedding. He gulped. Now he was positively done for.

Donna analysed the photo, and so did Wilf. He looked at the two expecting their reactions. Wilf seemed really serious and that made John’s heart go crazy with the anxiety. 

“No way! He is a bit similar, I give you that, but this prince of your is way more handsome than James. Here, look at this guy. He looks fit and quite charming. Now look at James. See? A beanpole! This prince is hot, but he is just… meh. And look at this cheap reindeer cosplay, do you think a prince would be dressed like that drinking here with us?”

The girl considered her words, looking at John. Pondering, she agreed with Donna, apologizing. Once again, John was perplexed. Donna managed to get rid of the girl way better than he expected. But wait… What did she say again? Beanpole? BEANPOLE! What? He wasn’t a beanpole!

“Well, I guess you were right. That wasn’t a stupid morning after all,” said Donna, finishing her drink, and raising up. “It’s almost Christmas feast. Mom must be waiting at the hotel. Let’s go?” 

“Sure. I think I’m done being mocked here,” mumbled John, joining her, a bit offended.

“Oh, don’t take that seriously. I was just trying to protect you. You know that I think you are… tall…”

“So I am just tall and the prince is hot?” asked John, baffled. 

“Yep… Pretty much. Gramps? Are you ready?” she asked, turning back to Wilf, who was lost in his thoughts, still on his seat.

“Oh! Sure,” he snapped out of his daydreams, smiling and following Donna. 

She passed an arm around his and leaned towards his shoulder, smiling. Then she also grabbed John’s arm, who was still pouting about that great offence. “Come on, Prince Valiant. It’s Christmas time.”

“Oh, so now you like Christmas…” he grumbled, making Donna smile.

**James**

Jack had been looking for James for a while. After deciding to switch places with John, they went to the dining room, to have breakfast together, and luckily Brax not only had already eaten earlier, but he was engaged in a political issue for the rest of the morning. That meant a little bit of freedom for them, so Jack showed the palace to James in a quick tour. 

He left the man for five minutes in the snooker room, and when he was back the fake prince was gone. Since that, he had been looking for James everywhere like crazy, hoping he wouldn’t do or say anything stupid in his absence. Jack would never have thought that was possible, but finally got the day when he would be the responsible one. He wasn’t liking that, not even a little. 

After searching the entire palace, including the gardens and the stables, he got back to John’s room, his last hope to find the man. How was his surprise to find James inside the bathtub, surrounded by white foam, drinking champagne and eating expensive snacks. And the bastard looked like he was having a good time, while Jack himself went through hell to find him.

“Are you having fun?” he asked, folding his arms.

“Jack! I wondered how long would it take for you to join me,” smiled James, as he had no worries in his life.

“What the heck are you doing there?”

“Enjoying the perks of being a prince… Do you know what this is?” James showed Jack the glass of champagne, smiling. Dom Pérignon! Did you know something like that really existed.”

“Yep, I did.”

“And look at this! Caviar… and truffles!”

“Do you like that stuff?”

“Nope. Not at all. But it is bloody caviar! And… I asked for a lobster, so they will probably bring me the good food later,” James winked.

Jack walked by the edge of the pool sitting on a chair facing James. The man was having so much fun that he couldn’t keep mad at him. Besides, it really seemed like a good idea to join and have some champagne too.

“So, what’s your plan?”

“Since you said that John had nothing to do until the ball, I thought it would be better if I just kept a low profile, so I came back to this room, took a nap and asked for room service.”

“I see you have everything settled then,” smiled Jack.

“Yep… Pretty much. But I’ll still need some help to dress up at the ball. I have a feeling that John and I have pretty different tastes.”

James pointed to a T-shirt lying around, and Jack grabbed it. It had a Batman logo, and not even a black and discreet one. It had a sixties design, and the fabric was as yellow as a sunflower. Nope, not even remotely similar to something John would wear, although John wasn’t exactly casual.

“Don’t worry. I know what to do. I think I’ll leave you to your feast.”

“Wait! Don’t you wanna eat the lobster too?” asked James. “I could handle that alone, but it doesn’t seem much fun to stay all by myself the whole afternoon.”

“Says the guy who ghosted me in real life,” said Jack, folding his arms.

“Sorry about that, but you were taking too long. I was getting bored there, so that’s technically your fault,” said James, laughing.

“You are worse than John,” scoffed Jack.

“That’s something I would like to ask you. What’s your relationship with John?”

“Why? Interested?” asked Jack.

“Maybe…” James raised an eyebrow, sassily. 

Jack was tempted, he really was. Having a crush on John since his teenage years, the idea of dating a guy who looked exactly like his friend was appealing. But he knew that James wouldn’t be there for long, and he knew that letting himself have an affair with John’s doppelganger would only make things difficult with John in the future. Better keep wondering about that time, so he just laughed off James' proposition.

“I’m John’s friend. We studied at the same school growing up and served the army together.”

“He served the army? A prince?” asked James, coming to the edge of the bathtub, interested.

“It’s the modern to slaying dragons,” winked Jack, also serving himself with some champagne.

“And what about this Christmas ball? What should I expect?”

“More champagne, good food and small talk. Nothing too difficult, I assure you. I’ll be there by your side too, if you need me,” said Jack, also stealing some caviar.

“So more food and smiling to posh people? I can handle it,” said John, closing his eyes, with a smile.

Someone knocked on the door. It was a servant, bringing the lobster. James lifted his head, pleased, and Jack excused himself to go to his room. Even though he would love to talk some more, he knew he would have to dress up before helping James. It seemed pretty clear that without proper help he would just throw a blazer over a T-shirt and call that decent.

Finding himself alone in the room once more, James felt the urge to send Donna a photo to show off. She was always talking about posh spas and hotels that it was impossible to be in a royal prince’s private chamber without thinking about Donna dying of envy. But he promised John to keep the whole switch experience a secret, and he was a man of word. Getting out of the tub, and wrapping himself on a robe, he threw himself over the bed, starting to eat his lobster. He could picture Wilf right beside him, with reindeer antlers, stealing some bites, while Sylvia nagged both of them, Wilf to be eating, and James to give his dad some lobster, even though he couldn’t eat those types of food. Donna would be in the tub, a towel on her hair and a glass of champagne on her hands, promising to never leave that place without putting up a fight. He only wondered what was happening with John and his family. 

He couldn’t finish the lobster, but he asked the servant who came to take it back to the kitchen, to save the rest for him. The man seemed surprised with the request, but he didn’t question. James learned that the guys working there never asked anything and barely spoke with him. To live like that on a daily basis seemed boring, but for his pretend game it was perfect. He only hoped that the royal he would meet at the party would behave the same.

That was time to dress up, and for the first time he entered John’s closet. OH. DEAR. GOD! That place was huge! Probably even bigger than the hotel room he had been sharing with his family. There were thousands of suits, all sorted by colour, and ties, shirts and socks… That was better than a department store! Not only that, there was a whole drawer for cufflinks, another for tie clips and a third one for handkerchiefs. Oh, there were also the watches! James wanted to try it all, but he knew he didn’t have much time until the party. He found a safe white shirt, a royal blue suit (that seemed fitting for the occasion) and chose some other nice shiny stuff to complement the look. But no ties, he hated ties.

When Jack got to the room, James was styling his hair, and he looked fabulous. Not exactly John’s style, but he did a better job that Jack could ever dream he would. 

“Nice hair,” complimented Jack.

“Do you think so?” smiled James. “What about the rest?”

“All great. For a guy who came in wearing a superhero T-shirt and a hoodie, you have a great style.

“I have to admit that this is not something I would wear on a daily basis, but considering this suit is more expensive than a month of my family’s income, I won’t apologise for it.”

“Fair point,” agreed Jack. “Ready to go?”

“Sure. It's showtime!”

“Just one more thing. You don’t have to bow to anyone, except your brother. You do it once, when you greet him, and no need to do it again for the entire party, okay?”

“Got it. Let’s go!”

Jack took James to a room, where all the guests were already there. The room was smaller than he expected, and the party was also smaller. There weren’t more than fifteen people in that room, including five kids, who were playing near the enormous christmas tree. There were two men, talking near the fireplace and drinking wine, two ladies talking on the couch, a diverse group of people on a circle, apparently having lot’s a fun, and a woman, sitting on a chair, seeming beyond bored. The room was decorated with old-fashioned furniture, but not like the hotel room he had been the day before. That place screamed royalty. Also there were lights and garlands, to make everything extra-festive, but differently than normal people’s houses, the style of the ornaments matched to create something that looked like one of those Hallmark movies Donna liked to watch.

A servant announced him and Jack, and the whole room bowed to him, except for a man and a woman who were in that lively group of people. James came closer and bowed. 

“You are not wearing a tie tonight, brother,” said the man.

James looked up to him, avoiding his eyes. He didn’t know how to behave in front of the royalty, especially a king. And considering he was pretending to be this same king’s brother, he was quite terrified to be exposed to that farse. 

“Yes, brother. I thought it would be good for a change.”

The king didn’t say anything, he just smiled. James was petrified, already tracing an escape route in case the king ordered the guards in.

“Ms. Rose Tyler is already here. Why don’t you greet her?”

“Sure. I’ll,” said James, bowing again, before stepping away from Irving. When he agreed to switch places, he had never thought how terrified he would be to face all those powerful people, who probably knew John well, and could behead him if he was found out. Sure, Donna and Sylvia were frightening, but luckily for John they didn’t have the power to end his life, at least not literally.

“You can breathe now,” whispered Jack, startling James. “Don’t worry, if Brax didn’t notice, you are clear. The other guys have no idea of John’s personality.”

“Are you sure he didn’t notice?”

“I would bet my life on it. But now you better talk with other people. Remember, just smile and nod politely.”

“Your Majesty asked me to talk to a Rose. Is it John’s fiancé?”

“Smart guy! She is the blonde girl sitting on the couch,” said Jack, nodding in her direction. “But be nice to her! No matter what John told you, she is a nice girl.”

“I would never be an idiot with a lady on purpose,” winked John, walking in her direction.

Rose was the bored woman on the couch. She had her hair in a loose hairdo, and was wearing a very flattering light pink dress. For James’ surprise, she was gorgeous! When John talked about getting married, he had pictured something completely different. Still, beauty wasn't everything. She could have an awful personality. He sat by her side, smiling.

“Rose Tyler?” he asked.

She looked at him, and got startled. Clearly, she wasn’t expecting him to talk with her. Or worse, she didn’t know who he was. 

“Your highness,” she bowed.

No, she did. She definitely did.

“How are you and your family?” he asked, not knowing what a noble should ask in those circumstances. It was more difficult than he thought it would be.

Before the girl could answer him, an older woman joined her, staying by the girl’s side. It was undeniable by their resemblance,and it was clear she was Rose’s mother.

“Your highness, we are so glad to be here! I’ve been talking to Pete lately, and we noticed how long it’s been since we met last time. I believe it was your brother’s coronation birthday, right?”

“I think so,” smiled James, avoiding talking too much.

“I knew it! That was a beautiful celebration! That was only a pity that we didn’t have the chance to meet by that time. And then you went to travel again… Where were you this time? Australia?"

James não tinha ideia. No one told him about traveling. He smiled, trying not to freak out.

“It was a very long trip, I went to lots of different countries,” he said, searching for Jack, who seemed to have disappeared.

“That’s so exciting! My Pete always travels as well, sometimes I even travel with him. But we don’t like to leave or little Tony alone for too long,” she said, pointing to a blonde man who was talking with the king by the fire. 

“I see…”

“Mom, I think Lady Heartfelt wants to talk to you,” said Rose, placing her hands over her mother’s shoulders.

“She can wait, Rose, dear. It’s rude to interrupt a conversation with the prince.”

“Oh, please, don’t let me stop you. We can talk more later,” James smiled.

“Oh! How charming! If you say so…” said the woman, bowing and leaving. Rose looked back at James and mouthed a “sorry,” before leaving with her mom.

He didn’t talk with Rose again before they announced the supper, but he kept being drawn to her. Even when they headed to the dinner table, although they weren’t positioned directly near each other, he could still eavesdrop her conversation with others, noticing how smart and witty she was. He also loved her laugh. She had the most adorable laugh he had ever heard. And after all of that he couldn’t understand why John refused to marry a woman like her.

“Careful, don’t drool,” said Jack, who sat by his side.

James, who was struggling with the whole table etiquette, but was doing a good job mimicking others, brought his bare hands to his mouth, before remembering to use the napkin, having a complete brain malfunction. Jack only laughed at him, finding the whole situation amusing.

“I’m not!” complained James.

“She is beautiful, isn’t she?” asked Jack.

“Even more than that! What is your friend’s problem?”

“Oh, that’s a long list!” whispered Jack, chucking. “But I told you she was a nice girl.”

“She is! Again, what is your friend’s problem?”

“I think that’s because Brax is pushing him to do it. Otherwise, he would be the first to flirt with her. She is definitely his type.”

James agreed, as Rose exchanged glances with him again. There was something in her eyes that, if he didn’t know better, looked like flirting. He smiled, being bold and winking back. Rose didn’t even blush, she just smiled, and turned back to her conversation, not taking his eyes off him for a while. Again, James was absolutely sure that Prince John could be a handsome man, but he was completely insane.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has a different perceptive about History, while James rides a horse for the first time.

**John**

The guide led the group, explaining part of the history of Gallifrey through the last few centuries, as they crossed one of the rooms of the Citadel Museum. Sylvia was the only one truly excited with the guide’s information, as she kept the pace, reading the folders she got on the entrance. The rest of the family, on the other hand, wasn’t as thrilled with the explanation. Wilf, for example, kept his own pace, as he watched the portraits and objects, ignoring completely the explanation.

“In 1937, King Leopold married Queen Margareth, in a large wedding. The royalties of the United Kingdom, Denmark and Spain came to Gallifrey to watch the ceremony. Together they reigned for fifty years, being known for patrons of the arts, supporters of human rights and made Gallifrey keep their economy strong during the Second World War. And the rest…”

“Was History,” complemented Donna, rolling her eyes. “This is the tenth time he said that. I counted!” 

John didn’t laugh though, he was too concerned with all the nonsense the guide was telling about his family. His Gramps hated art. And so did his grandma. They always said modern art was just garbage. And what he said about Uncle Galadriel being a hero couldn’t be further than the truth. His uncle never fought in war, actually, he pretended to get injured on the first day, and commanded the troops from the safety of his tent. He had never risked himself to anyone before or after that. John just couldn’t believe how his family stories were twisted into fairy tales that way.

“Here you can see a portrait of King Irving of the house of Braxiatel, made for the coronation. The king was only twenty-nine by that time, and had to assume his responsibility to the throne after the passing of his father from a brain disease,” said the guide.

John didn’t like to hear about his father. It was a difficult time, his death. He had a stroke and for five days he had to be taken to the Royal Hospital. Those days were the worst moments of his life, and he remembered watching his dad in a hospital bed, struggling to breath, severely medicated, while he was unable to do anything to help him. Deep in his heart he knew all the hopes to have his father back were lost, and when he saw the king’s last peaceful breath, the acknowledgement of being an orphan made him feel lonely. Being an adult already by that time didn’t make the parting last difficult for him.

“Eleven! Eleven times!” said Donna, facepalming. “For real, next time this guy says “and the rest is history,” I’ll punch him in the face. Don’t even try to stop me.”

“I won’t. I might probably help you,” he said, and Donna smiled.

“Typical, you two! The man is talking about History and you two can’t stop nitpicking…” complained Sylvia, looking mad at them.

“History…” scoffed John. “This guy has no idea of what he is talking about.”

“And you do?”

“Of course I do! First the War with Skaro was in the 1230s, NOT 1250s. King Harsoni’s first son was Jentro, not Kassilius, but he died with the plague at 13, and I’m pretty sure Lord Rassilon was a nazi.”

Donna, Sylvia and Wilf looked at John baffled. Finally it struck him that he had talked too much. 

“How do you know all that, boy?” asked Wilf, while the two ladies were still static.

“I… I… read on Wikipedia?” he asked, smiling. He just hoped his poor excuse could convince them.

“Of course you did! There was no way for you to know it otherwise,” Sylvia was the first to laugh it off. He laughed as well, hoping Donna and Wilf would also believe in it. He had no idea what they could be thinking, but Donna only shrugged, following her mom, and Wilf smiled at him. Crisis averted, at least for now.

Wilf stopped to admire a gramophone. Donna stopped by Wilf’s side, taking his arm, and the both watched the object. John recognized it as his grandma, and he had a vague memory of her listening to Frank Sinatra while humming.

“What did you find there?” asked John, also joining them.

“You tell me, boy,” said Wilf.

“Me? Why me?”

“Aren’t you the expert?” Wilf winked, and Donna started to laugh.

“It reminds me of Granny. Do you remember how she had only those three records, but she kept playing them time after time?” asked Donna.

“Yes! She always grabbed my arm to dance. I was a terrible dancer, but she wanted to dance with me anyway. She used to say that my enthusiasm compensated it,” he laughed.

“She loved to dance,” said Sylvia, coming closer, the same shared nostalgic look in her eyes. “I remember stepping in her feet to dance a waltz when I was little.”

“Yeah... “ said James, admiring those three, and how lovely they looked together. He smiled, noticing that museum visit was getting him more emotional than it was accepted. Turning his gaze away, he saw the little shop at the end of the corridor. He couldn’t be more grateful for the distraction. “Look, a little shop! I love a little shop.”

He rushed there, looking around the place. There were flags of his country, plates and mugs, pens and books, and a lot more useless trinkets that called his attention. There was also a collection of writing quills and ink bottles that really caught his attention.

“Excuse me, sir,” said the guide, coming closer.

John looked back, startled.

“Sorry to bother, but has anyone told you that you look exactly like Prince John?” he asked.

John smiled, trying to sound natural.

“Really?”

“Indeed! You don’t happen to have a connection with the royal family, do you?”

“I wish!” he said. “Who wouldn’t like to be a prince?”

“The closest noble to James is me,” said Donna, placing a plastic crown over John’s head. “Donna Noble, nice to meet you.”

The guide smiled, surprised with Donna’s answer, but he ended up smiling.

“Where are you from?” he asked.

“England,” Donna smiled, flirting. “But we will be around till New Year’s Eve,” she winked. “Do you have any more suggestions of places we could met, Mr. Guide?”

“Well, I could think of a place or two. I could do a private tour, if you… and your family, want to.”

“Can I have your number? Professionally, of course…” 

He gave her his card, winking before leaving them to catch the next group. Donna giggled excitedly, looking at the card.

“And the rest is history…” she said, pocketing it with a victorious expression.

“I thought you would punch him in the face,” said John, surprised.

“Meh… He is cute though.”

John rolled his eyes, annoyed. Donna, on the other side, had joined Sylvia over a decorated tea cup. He noticed Wilf was near the snow globes, but watching him from afar. He decided to join the man.

“Everything is alright?”

“Sure. I’m having lots of fun. It’s good to see those two like that,” he nodded to Donna and Sylvia. “It’s been some months since the last time I saw them smiling like that.”

“Really? Why?”

“Jeff… Donna’s father. He passed earlier this year, remember?”

“Oh, yeah…” he said, sadly. “Indeed.”

“Are you coming, you two?” asked Sylvia, who had some bags on her arms, and was ready to go with Donna.

“Coming,” said John, following them. He noticed though that Wilf didn’t follow them. He turned back, to see the old man looking around the shop, distracted.

“Wilf?”

“I’m going. Just let me buy one of those first,” he said, pointing to the globes.

“I can wait.” 

“No, it’s better if you follow them. It’s never a good idea to leave those two too long on their own,” smiled Wilf.

“Oh, I know!” smiled John, who knew both Donna and Sylvia well enough to know their relationship was a bit like cats and dogs.

**James**

James didn’t have much to do. His plan was to keep a low profile until lunch, and then switch back with John as soon as Jack confirmed the Tylers were out of the property. Honestly, he had no idea why John was so against marrying Rose. She seemed incredible! Funny, smart, a little bit sassy, and absolutely beautiful! James had a lot of blind dates with Donna’s friends and Sylvia’s friend’s daughters, and he knew exactly how tiresome the whole dating process was. Trying to be nice and find common ground with someone who had nothing to do with you besides a closer age was excruciating. But Rose was different, she had a sparkle of her own.

Being completely bored, James wore the closest thing John had to a comfortable outfit, which was a pair of denims and a shirt. He would find way more comfortable to wear his T-shirt back, but he had to agree it wasn’t something a prince would wear. Still, he looked pretty cool, which compensated for the trouble. Walking through the hallways to find Jack, he met Rose instead, and she looked particularly pretty. She was wearing a white shirt, tight trousers and long boots, and her blonde hair was braided. She smiled when she saw him.

“Good morning, your highness,” Rose bowed, respectfully.

“Mrs. Tyler, good morning,” he said, trying to impersonate his idea of a royal prince.

“It was a pity that you didn’t join us for breakfast this morning,” she said, her tongue sassily behind her teeth. 

“Really?” asked James, letting himself flirt a bit back. John was supposed to be her suitor, so no one would complain about a harmless talk in broad daylight. Besides, being nice with the girl wouldn’t hurt.

“Yep… Your highness is said to be a very good company,” she smiled.

“Really?”

She giggled.

“I’m heading to the stables. Would you like to come with me?”

“Yes… I mean… No. Actually, I can’t,” he said, biting his tongue. James cursed himself to forget he was supposed to be John, the prince who didn’t want to marry, not James, who would gladly follow Rose anywhere she wanted to. If he wanted to endure until afternoon and switch back, he would have to keep playin nice for a few more hours. That was a pity, though.

“I promise I won’t steal much of your time. Just a ride, nothing more, that’s what I ask.”

“I can’t. I’m sorry, Ms. Tyler.”

“You aren’t afraid of me, are you, your highness?” asked Rose, coming closer.

“Me? Of course not!” scoffed James, praying to not be discovered.

“So why do I have the feeling you are hiding from me?”

“Hiding? No! Where did you take that idea from?”

“So come with me. I just need one hour, nothing more.”

Dear Lord! She challenged him! Rose, all smiles and batting eyelashes, just dared him to follow her, and he couldn’t refuse. To make James do something it was quite easy, you just had to question his capacity, anc challenge him. Maybe that was why he was still doing gigs with the band. Sylvia dared to say he would never be famous playing music when he was a teenager, and he made his lifetime mission to prove her wrong. Now Rose was challenging him to ride with her, and as much as his head kept telling him to refuse, he was impulsive enough to ignore, and join the blonde to the stables.

“I heard your horses are the best of the country,” she said.

“Indeed,” he said, trying to keep his posh impersonation.

“Do you only speak in monosyllables?” asked Rose, laughing.

‘What?”

“Really”, “Indeed”, “I can’t”... I didn’t know you were shy.” 

“I’m not!” Well, at least James wasn’t. He wasn’t certain about John, though, but he hoped so. That was the only thing he could do, since that whole switching experience didn’t come with a tutorial.

“You can speak comfortably with me, your highness.”

“Is it proper?”

“I swear I won’t tell anyone,” she giggled.

“Then drop the “your highness” and call me John.”

“As you wish.”

James had to stop quickly at his room and take John's riding boots instead. He was always marveled by how John’s shoes fitted him just fine. Even the shoes were a similar size! Maybe after that day he would consider letting the beard grow so he could differentiate from the prince. Rose kept waiting by the door, and together they walked to the stables. Or at least tried.

“Are you sure this castle is yours?” she asked, when they went out and James led her to the wrong direction.

“Of course it is mine. Why wouldn't it be mine? Did you hear something?”

Rose laughed, lightely. She had the most adorable laugh, like a fairy.

“Don’t try to fool me, your highness. I know this is just an excuse to avoid competing with me. Are you that afraid to lose?” she challenged.

“Actually, yeah… I’m pretty sure you gonna beat me up,”

Rose laughed again, delighted. Eventually they found their way to the stables, where the stable boy was feeding the horses. He looked excited when he saw James, smiling brightly. James had no idea who he was, and John and Jack had forgotten to tell him the boy’s name. Probably they thought James wouldn’t come closer to the stables. Well, that was too late to back up. Better use another strategy to distract the boy from noticing he didn’t know him, and smile instead.

“I knew you would come, sir! I’ve been taking good care of Tardis. I’ve already fed her and given her a treat, he showed an apple.”

“Thank you! But don’t spoil her too much, or she will prefer to be your horse instead.”

“Never!” The boy turned to Rose, his eyes sparkling in admiration. “Your Highness tamed Tardis all by himself. She was supposed to be a race horse, but no other horseman managed to control her, just Prince John.”

“Really? That’s impressive!” Rose looked at James, wide eyed, but the man only gulped, embarrassed. Would she notice that was his first time riding a horse? More important than that, would the horse notice he wasn’t John?

The boy brought two horses, a blonde one, that he gave to Rose, and a black one, who had her fur so dark and lustrous that it almost looked blue. Rose easily got on the horse, petting his beautiful crane. She looked like a proper amazon who knew exactly what she was doing. In comparison, James was just a hot mess. Feeling nervous, he looked at the horse, and tried to touch her.

“Please, help me here girl. I can’t look stupid in front of her,” he whispered.

Maybe Tardis didn’t hear him, or she could be too loyal to her owner to not let anyone else ride over her, but in seconds, she pushed James away, getting loose, and doing a lot of fuzz. James tried to stop her, as a proper owner would do, but she didn’t stop for him. It took the boy to offer her a second apple for her to stop. But James was already too scared with the whole incident to try to ride her again. Bloody loyal horse! Couldn’t she at least pretend only once?

“Blimey! You really put up a fight didn‘t you?” said James, trying to mask how shaken he was.

“That’s so weird! Tardis had never done that before!” said the boy, brushing Tardi’s crane.

“Indeed,” said James, knowing by the horse's eyes that she had already figured out his game. Clever horse!

“Maybe she is just jealous…” suggested Rose, smirking.

“Are you jealous, girl? Don’t worry, you are still my favorite,” tried James, hoping that lame excuse could distract people from the fact that he was being rejected by who was supposed to be his favorite horse.

Tardis seemed almost human. She whined, getting away from him as she was truly offended. He had a feeling that the horse would really get along well with Donna. 

“I’m sorry to get your horse jealous,” said Rose, laughing.

“Don’t worry, we will figure it out. Do you know any Horse-human-relationship therapist?”

Rose laughed again, having the time of her life. 

John followed the boy back to the stable. There were at least five horses there, including Tardis. He had no idea about the ages, gender or race of the horses, but they all looked regal to him. The boy was about to exchange Tardis for another tall, majestic and scary horse, but James stopped him. He couldn’t handle a proper horse, not on his first rodeo, but there was also a smaller horse being cute and energetic while eating a carrot, and James fell in love with him.

“Who is this?” he asked.

“Kay-Nine,” said the boy. “It’s our little little mascot.”

“Perfect! Let me ride this one!”

The boy didn’t believe in him at first, but since it was the prince saying that, he did as ordered. James looked at the little horse, quite proud of himself. He easily got on his horse and rode to Rose’s side. The vision of the Prince of Gallifrey riding a cute little horse was enough to make Rose laugh out loud, holding her belly. 

“Oh my God! You look so cute,” she said, having trouble stopping laughing.

“I know. But don’t underestimate me and my boy Kay-Nine abilities. Good things come in small packages.”

“I bet they do,” she smiled.

They couldn’t go too far though, poor Kay-Nine had small legs in comparison with Rose’s horse. Still, they had a lot of fun. The weather was good too, and they could enjoy the sun rays and the breeze. 

“I’m glad I convinced you to come,” she confessed. “I wouldn’t be having so much fun alone.”

“Me too. Who would know that riding would be so much fun?”

“I thought you do that all the time,” said Rose, surprised.

“I do!” said James, remembering he was supposed to be a prince. “I’m always riding horses, all the time. I meant riding with you,” he smiled.

“Flaterrer!” laughed Rose. “But honestly now, you are very different than I had imagined,” she confessed.

“Different? Good different or bad different?”

“Aren’t you just dying to know?” she giggled. “I’ve always seen you as very handsome and cultured, but also a bit too serious. Sometimes even sad. But now, knowing you better, you are much lighter, and funnier. It’s a side of you that I didn’t know.”

James felt guilty. Completely, utterly, totally guilty. He wasn’t the guy she was describing, but that was probably because he wasn’t really John, but James, the normal bloke from England. It was clear that, if he wanted to impersonate the prince, he was failing.

“You are right, this me is not the same as the one you’ve met. But if you want a tip, I wouldn’t get too used to this me.”

“Why not? I like this you. You are so easy-going…”

“I know… But let me put it this way: this me is completely failing on being a proper prince…” he said, regretting to let so much of his own personality let it show. John would behead him if he knew.. 

“Quite the opposite, for me you are nailing it!”

James smiled. Rose made it too difficult for him to behave like a proper prince.

“Even with the small horse?”

“Oh, that’s the better part!” she laughed. 

“Next time you come, I hope Tardis will be more cooperative,” he said, reminding himself that Rose was supposed to depart soon, and that they would never meet again. Somehow the thought of it was quite bittersweet.

“Why not try tomorrow?” 

“Tomorrow?”

“Yeah, we can come back in the morning. I don’t have anything scheduled this week.”

“Wait, weren’t you and your family supposed to go back home today?” 

“We were, but his majesty invited us to stay until New Year’s Eve,” she smiled. 

“Oh!” James tried to look calm, but he was a complete hurricane of emotions inside. He was frustrated, because he planned to go back to his own reality after their departure, but he was also frightened. Still, knowing Rose a bit better, he was glad she would stay a few days more and a bit envious of John to be the one who would properly date her.

“Are you disappointed?” she asked, not being able to hide her frustration.

“No! Of course not! I’m just not too certain if I can stay with you this week. I’ll have to check with Jack. You know how it is… the royal family and stuff.”

“Right…”

Suddenly the mood changed. There was something awkward between the two. James wanted to say something and make it right, but knowing that John was the guy supposed to marry her, he felt it would be wrong to promise anything or even to try to flirt with her again. Actually, he didn’t even know why he let himself be all cheeky and bold with her, when she was clearly too good to him, and he was pretending to be another guy, even though that guy was technically supposed to be her suitor. It was too complicated to go on.

As they went back to the stables, Rose parted without talking much, and he knew he was the one who spoiled all the fun. It was necessary, though, especially when we had to talk with John as soon as possible about those concerning news. When he got to his room, Jack was already waiting for him.

“Where were you?” asked the man, lazily watching the tele. “I’ve been here for hours.”

“Sorry about that, but I was with Rose…”

“Rose? Like in Rose Tyler?” Jack raised up, surprised.

“Let me explain! She said she will be her till the New Years Eve! Did you know that?”

“Why do you think I came? I think it’s time to talk to John and switch back.”

“And I think you are completely right!” agreed James, thinking about the wonderful date he just had with Rose, and how dangerously close to fall for her he was.

Jack called his friend hoping that John would pick it up. Although they had to wait for quite a while, soon he answered the video call. It looked like he was in a public bathroom or something.

“Why are you calling me now? The switch wasn’t supposed to be in the afternoon?”

“Good morning for you too, Your Highness,” said James, rolling his eyes.

“Shhh! Don’t tell that! I’m in public!”

“Public? Where?”

“The mall!”

“Oh! Donna tricked you to go with her, didn’t she? Tell her you are nauseated, and she will let you go back to the hotel. It always works for me,” suggested James, thinking there wasn’t anything in the world that he hated more than going to the mall with Donna. All the time she spent in stores and more stores, to buy absolutely nothing, and make him carry all her shop bags… That was his idea of what hell would be: an eternity of shopping with Donna.

“What? Why would I?” asked the prince, surprising James. “Anyways… Come on, tell me what is going on!”

“We have a red alert here,” explained Jack. “Rose is staying till New Years Eve.”

John facepalmed, grabbing his hair desperately, making it messier and spikier than before, almost like a hedgehog.

“Of course she is! I should know that my brother would play dirty!”

“I think it’s time to switch back,” said Jack, and James agreed.

“No! We can’t! Rose and her family think you are the prince, they will find it weird if you suddenly change your personality.”

“And what about your brother and his wife? What about my family?” asked James, angry.

“Don’t worry, Brax is always too busy to interact with you, and Benny is always with the kids. As for your family, they didn’t suspect yet.”

“What? You gotta be kidding! Not even dad?" asked James, disappointed. They must've found John weird. Something might have sounded off to them, especially coming from John.

“No, he is pretty fine. Actually Donna is managing to handle everyone who comes to ask me if I’m the prince.”

“Really?” asked Jack, surprised. He always struggled to get John out of the palace without people recognizing him.

“Yeah, she has a very peculiar method,” he said, remembering all the unflattering things she had been telling people about him. He was still trying to figure out if he was grateful or offended.

“I need a new family,” said James, rolling his eyes. 

“Stay there a little more. It’s not even for a week. Then we can switch back. Why don’t you use my credit card for a change. I see you didn’t buy anything with it yet.”

“I see someone is monitoring me…” said James, with a smirk. “Still, I’m not sure if we should keep this going for the rest of the year.”

“Don’t be dramatic, it will be easy! You are doing a great job. Now I have to go!” said John, turning off the phone.

Jack and James looked at each other baffled.

“Can you believe this guy?” asked James.

“I know… I have to deal with that for a decade now,” said Jack, rolling his eyes. “Still worthy, though!”


End file.
